Two nights ago, I fought insomnia all night, trying to find a few minutes of sleep hidden within the folds of darkness, but it evaded me. Instead leaving me distracted and overwhelmingly depressed off and on all day. I kept to myself for the most part, allowing this battle to be my own until my husband wrapped his arms around my waist, asking "You got those blues again?" I nodded yes, "I know you too well, Sue-Sue."
All day blackness permeated every part of every minute and I couldn't shake it.
There are times I lovingly embrace the melancholy melody that emanates from my heart. Not necessarily by choice, but almost out of a sense of survival. I hold it closely, retreating to forgotten corners of my soul where I felt protected as a child, realizing that this internal struggle helps me distance myself from the torments of my childhood.
I know I must walk through the fire to be free of the pain. All of the memories, horrific, nightmarish little gifts my father gave me...stuffed into the distant corners of my mind, hidden away. I must now take out, examine and come to terms with each poisonous nugget in order to quiet the vile voice in my mind.
There are times I lovingly embrace the melancholy melody that emanates from my heart. Not necessarily by choice, but almost out of a sense of survival. I hold it closely, retreating to forgotten corners of my soul where I felt protected as a child, realizing that this internal struggle helps me distance myself from the torments of my childhood.
I know I must walk through the fire to be free of the pain. All of the memories, horrific, nightmarish little gifts my father gave me...stuffed into the distant corners of my mind, hidden away. I must now take out, examine and come to terms with each poisonous nugget in order to quiet the vile voice in my mind.
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